The Poison Ivy

#humblebrag (2)

me1vy — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 18:18:03 +0000

On second thought, I never really brag.

When one is accused of bragging, (1) is (s)he really bragging; or (2) is (s)he simply stating a fact that is too hurtful for you?

See. No es mi problema.

#humblebrag (1)

me1vy — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 18:13:33 +0000

I never get this term. Why be humble when you want to brag? There is nothing humble about my brags.

WEAR WITH PRIDE. Or don’t even bother.

Silence is gold

me1vy — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 18:07:35 +0000

Here’s a friendly warning for you. My lowest time of the day is between 4.30pm to 7.30pm. So please, for both of our sake and sanity, do not mess with me at those hours in particular.

Of course, some people are simply negligent. So at 5pm an email popped up, asking for my assistance for something to be done on that very same day. What am I, David Copperfield?

Then that guy followed it up with a phone call, 10 minutes later. With sort-of-polite laughter (I assumed he was trying to ease the situation down), he said, “Am I bothering you?”

I remained quiet, didn’t say a single word. Remember this was over the phone.

He must have got the message since he immediately turned to being all business about it.

What? Do you expect me to actually respond to the question? Do you think he would prefer me answering the question? I don’t think so either.

Are you?

me1vy — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 17:50:48 +0000

I really don’t see the point of having female and male toilets when there is only one toilet inside each of them. You see people (usually women) queuing on one while the other is totally free. What’s the point?

So that afternoon, I simply went into the free one, which happened to have “gents” sign on the door.

As I went out, a guy was waiting rather impatiently. He said, “Can you not read the sign? Are you a man?”

“No, I am not,” I said to the guy. “Are you?”

Pact

me1vy — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 01:58:03 +0000

My friend and I have this unspoken pact between us: He retains his rights to (try to) be funny and tell jokes; While I retain mine to ignore him.

Compete

me1vy — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 01:55:04 +0000

Mark this: I do not stay in the competition; I rise above it.

I do not compete. I win.

Important

me1vy — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 03:04:30 +0000

When I said important, I should have been more specific. What I really meant was it’d better be important FOR ME.

Gosh. Do I need to be explicit about everything here?

Boss

me1vy — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:26:48 +0000

A friend seemed to need a help at his work. Being an oh-so-capable person who always has time in her hand (hey, I am even sarcastic to myself), I thought I’d help.

Done. He was thinking about another task that I could help him with. He wondered whether to do it now or tomorrow. I said, “Let’s leave it to tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? Hey, you are not the boss around here!” he said.

Neither are you. And I left.

Incompetence

me1vy — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:22:59 +0000

The incompetence. They are everywhere. God’s biggest joke for me thus far. Ha ha.

Scary

me1vy — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 12:16:47 +0000

“I heard many scary stories about working with you. But it turns out that you aren’t that scary,” said a colleague.

Don’t worry, darl. I am only scary to the incompetents.